


Space Oddity

by BookdragonBeth



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Fix-It, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Keith (Voltron), Insecurity, Lance’s arc, M/M, Season/Series 08, There will be multiple chapters promise, basically re writting season 8, i have no clue how to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 03:35:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17317328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookdragonBeth/pseuds/BookdragonBeth
Summary: During his time helping to rebuild Earth, Lance has had a lot of time to think. About relationships and his place in the universe.But, mainly, he’s been focused on his family. Yet, his stay on Earth has a deadline. And the countdown has already begun.Back in space and fighting the Galra doesn’t leave much time for himself yet his worries and insecurities plague him, no matter how many galaxies they travel through.~~~Basically a fix it fic where I re-write most of Season 8





	Space Oddity

Lance stared at the half empty cup of tea in front of him. The last few months on earth had been a blessing for his stomach and, with him and Hunk sneaking into the Atlas’ kitchen one day, he can confidently say goodbye to food goo.

Lance vaguely heard Hunk say goodbye to his parents and wander over, sitting in front of him.

“Launching tomorrow. The big day.” Lance still couldn’t believe it. He was grateful for being on earth for as long as they were and, of course, he knew they were needed back up in space but, still, he was going to miss his family. At least Veronica would be joining him on the Atlas; he still didn’t know how he felt about it.

Hunk continued, “It seems like it was forever ago when we piled into the Blue Lion and blasted out into space. Man, we had no idea what we were getting into.” 

It really was a lifetime ago, with the months on end in the castle and the paladin’s lost years, time had slipped away from them. Time from his family he wouldn’t get back.

“Yeah.” Lance tried to forcibly pull himself from the inside of the head; to take him away from all his thoughts of his family before he began missing them before they had even separated.

“But now it's different, we’ve seen it all. We’re rugged veterans now, going back into battle one last time.” Battle. Their time on Earth was probably the longest spent without another thing trying to kill him, well, apart from Pidge when he tried to steal the gaming station from her dorm room.

“Mm yup,” Lance shrugged noncommittally.

“Guess that makes us heroes or something? Like the type of heroes that would have their own tv show.“ Hunk let out a joyful laugh as he was already distracted from their imminent departure. “Did you watch it Lance? Ah it's so cool! It's so cool…”

Lance let Hunk carry on discussing the new TV show; Voltron: Defenders of the Universe, which, he must admit, was pretty cool.

“Plus they're hinting at some romance between him and Allura.”

“Keith and Allura? What? No!” Lance’s head shot up, attention suddenly yanked from his wandering thoughts back to Hunk.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “I know, it’s pretty weird. I mean especially with Keith being-“

“No, wait! I just mean-argh!” Lance slouched back down on the desk, head narrowly missing the mug. “Forget it.”

Lance could practically feel Hunk’s stare in the back of his head.

“Is…” Hunk began hesitantly. “Is this about Keith or Allura?”

Lance turned his head so his eyes could meet Hunk’s, “Keith? What about him?” 

Hunk shrugged, eyes pushing Lance on, encouraging him to express his feelings.

Lance sighed, knowing Hunk wouldn’t give up trying to figure out what’s up, even though he would never force Lance to talk about it if he didn’t want to.

“I just,” Lance started, struggling for the right words, “When we came back to Earth, me and Allura, well it felt like something was finally happening. But I’ve barely even seen her outside of the med bay with that Altean which I get it, I do! Just, just I don’t want to push it and-and scare her off but also.” A pause. “I can’t be the only one trying to put effort into this, whatever this is. I can’t give her much more than I already have yet it feels like she hasn’t given anything in return.”

There it was.

The truth that, he supposed, Lance had been running from. 

He knew, at the beginning, he had a crush on Allura but it hadn’t turned into anything serious. Half the time he spent flirting was only a joke, something lighthearted to, most of the time, take the team’s mind, and Allura’s, off whatever their next battle was.

Nevermind the worry that first plagued him so soon after Lotor’s death. Lance had never wanted to be a rebound. Although he knew she would never do that to him intentionally. Lance just knows he can’t let himself be emotional collateral on Allura’s journey to getting over Lotor. He’s not sure he’d survive it.

And Lance is tired.

He’s tired of fighting. He’s tired of worrying about which one of his friends will be the next to get injured; whether that injury will be fatal. He’s tired of saving one planet from the Galra only for its neighbour to fall. 

As much as he hates to admit it, he’s tired of his heart being strung along. Of when he just thinks he’s moved on, for there to be a hint of something only for their to be no consequences of it, to think he’s imagined it.

“I think,” Hunk began after the pause following Lance’s confession had stretched to near awkwardness, “that you need to tell Allura that.”

“What? Tell her what?”

“Exactly what you just told me, more or less.” Hunk’s voice was certain.

“Hunk…” Lance hesitantly started before being interrupted.

“C’mon buddy, I know you’re going to hate the awkward confrontation but it’ll be better for the both of you in the long term.”

Damn Hunk, always being the voice of reason.

Lance nodded. “Okay, okay,” his voice becoming more and more confident, a weak shell to hide his nervousness inside, really.

“Right,” Hunk beamed, “now let me bake you some biscuits I’ve been learning; apparently they’re an old tradition on Balmera from before the Galra empire. I’ve been planning on surprising Shay with them next time we see her.”

Lance smiled, a true smile at his best friend. “Pass one over.”

~~~

The crowd piled out if briefing room, everyone in high spirits after Shiro's encouraging speech, his attempt to displace the sombre mood working. Well, on everyone except Lance, who, he’ll admit, kind of zoned out of at least half of the status reports of the Atlas as he tried to give himself a pep talk ready for his imminent conversation with Allura.

Lance saw Allura and Romelle heading up the corridor, likely going back to the med bay. Well, here goes nothing.

“Hey, uh, Allura?” Real smooth.

The pair stopped as Allura turned around. “What is it, Lance?”

“Oh, nothing much. Just, uh, checking in. So, how are things?” Lance internally cursed himself, he needs to hurry up and get it over with.

Allura’s eyes immediately became distant as her body language turned away from Lance, ”I’m sorry, but I really need to be getting back”

“Oh right, yeah okay.” Lance was sure he could find some other time to talk to her, no biggie. “Um, well, I don’t want to keep you so…” Lance’s voice trailed off as he watched the pair carry on their walk. He let out a quiet sigh as he turned around.

And immediately run into Hunk. The big guy didn’t even say anything, just looked down, arms crossed with unimpressed eyes.

“Jeez! Fine, okay!” Man, even after all these years Lance still can’t handle Hunk being disappointed in him.

“Allura! Hey!” Lance called as he quickly caught up to them, “could we maybe chat? Just for, like, five doboshes, I promise!”

The corners of Allura’s mouth turned downward ever so slightly and Lance braced himself for yet another rejection until Romelle cut in: “Go on, you won’t be long. I’ll go check on Luca and call you if anything happens.”

Reluctantly Allura agrees. She turns towards Lance expectantly as the corridor quickly empties out, leaving them alone.

“What is it then, Lance?” She questions, repeating her earlier sentence. Lance could tell she was exhausted, he wouldn’t be surprised if she had been sleeping in the chair next to the Altean’s bed.

“Right, well, I guess there’s no easy way to say this,” he paused momentarily to give his mind a tick to gather what he wanted to say, “I don’t really know how you feel even though it seemed like there was something but, uh, anyway I think I just wanted to say that-that I thought I loved you but I don’t. I don’t. And-and I don’t think you do either so this needs to end so we can both move on. I’m not saying nothing could ever happen in the future but I can tell nothing is happening now or-or anytime soon. We’ll be back fighting in space soon and I know you’re going to argue but I can tell things haven’t been easy since the whole Lotor fiasco. And you have the Altean to worry about.”

Lance’s eyes slowly rose to hers after they had drifted away, not wanting to see any possible hurt in Allura’s features. She looked to him almost - sad? Her eyebrows slightly drawn together as if in confusion. Then she let out a breath she was holding, eyes sliding from Lance’s to stare at the blank wall as she softly admitted:

“When we were out there, fighting against the Galra, I somehow felt like… like we were a family. Each of us was alone, but we were alone together. But now, here on Earth, I see that everyone already has a family and a home to return to once the war is over. Everyone except me. And for the first time, I feel uncertain about what my future holds. It’s silly. I used to think that the team relied on me. That I needed to be strong for everyone else. But now I see that it was I that needed all of you.”

Lance hesitated for a moment, surprised at her admission before stating with certainty, “Allura, you are not alone. We are a family. All seven of us. And, besides, none of us are really sure about our futures and where we’ll end up. And-and you don’t need to be sure. Once we survive this war then you can decide but you’ll always have a home with all of us.”

She looked back to him as he continued; “Maybe at the start, no scratch that, definitely at the start we relied more heavily on you but now? Now we depend on each other, equally; you aren’t in this alone.” Lance trailed off, slightly uncertain if he said the right thing, surprised how him ending any romantic feelings he had for Allura turned into a pep talk.

She nodded ever so slightly, deep in thought. “Thank you, Lance.” The words sounded hollow, as if he hadn’t helped to fill whatever gap she felt. 

In a blink, her whole composure changed, she straightened up as she smoothed her facial features. The gestures similar to how Allura would put on a brave face to support the team in a particularly bad situation, which, admittedly, happens a lot. 

“Well, if that’s everything. I-I should go back to the med bay.” The slight hesitancy alerted Lance to the whirlwind of emotions behind Allura’s mask. But, call him selfish, he wanted to let her go so he could move on. He had said what he needed to and now his footing on their friendship felt shaky at best.

And, so, Lance wordlessly nodded, relieving Allura of her duty and watching her retreat down the corridor.

~~~

Lance was glad he talked to Allura. No, really. He was. Just for some reason the sentiment didn’t line up with his swirling stomach and aching heart. He was relieved. That was for sure. And he knew he did the right thing, Hunk’s own agreement helping to solidify this conclusion. Just - it didn’t feel like some great victory.

It almost seemed anticlimactic. Was he expecting more of a reaction from Allura? Probably. Was he expecting the whole axis of his planetary brain to shift; to fall from Allura’s orbit? Well, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration but it’s close. 

He was currently lying on his bed in his assigned room at the Garrison staring at the smooth ceiling; spotless of any dirt or grime. Same place as just a few years ago, before all this madness began but now it was a different Garrison, a different earth and a different Lance.

Lance had never felt as important as a whole planet, it was probably a stupid metaphor to use in the first place, but, perhaps, he felt closer to some space debris. Floating along, stuck in other people’s orbit until he moved on, not without losing some more of himself; never whole. First his families orbit, a casualty of such a large family. Maybe he had tried to make his piece of debris as large and important as he could, getting louder and exuding an aura of confidence that never truly fooled his parents or siblings. 

Even at the Garrison, Lance had no room to move, too many moons filling a night sky while he desperately tried to keep up and, when he resigned himself to the simple fact that he wasn’t as good as everyone else, fabricating a persona to trick others that he didn’t care or was just ignorant of this fact.

So, maybe, when he saw an opportunity for a bit of recklessness, he took it. No, he grabbed it with both hands and refused to let go. Curiosity fueling a desire to stand out, to be noticed. Until he found himself catapulted into space and into the midst of an intergalactic war. That certainly put a damper on things. Forget planets, Lance was surrounded by stars, stars who shone with fiery passion; burning together to fight a dictator. And Lance - Lance was space debris.

Who was Lance kidding, lying still and contemplating his place in the universe wasn’t helping.

He propelled himself upward and out of his room. His feet began moving. A familiar ache in his joints encouraged him to move, to do something. Nonetheless, his anxious worries nipped on his heels, following him as Lance desperately tried to outrun them, to go somewhere they couldn’t go. Somewhere safe. Somewhere he wouldn’t be judged for his insecurities and somewhere he would be, hell, where he would be looked after.

It wasn’t a conscious choice. It was like his feet knew where he had to go and neglected to inform the rest of him.

“Man,” Lance couldn’t hide the struggle of physical exertion from his voice, “you can be a real hard guy to find when you wanna be.”

“Hey, Lance.” Keith looked away from the sunset for a moment towards Lance, a smile grazing his lips.

He sat down next to the other paladin, letting his legs hang over the edge of Black’s head.

“You watching the sunset?” Lance questioned, unable to keep the surprise from his query

“Yeah.” A pause. “Might be awhile before we get to see it again”

They sat there for a few moments, sharing a burden on their shoulders, invisible to most, before Lance spoke again. “I know I mentioned it before but I was serious. I could find something on the Atlas to do, I’m sure. Just- until now there's hardly been many available applicants to be a paladin but here, on Earth, there’s some seriously skilled pilots, man. I mean the MFE pilots, damn, and have you seen the new training stimulators? I couldn't-” A pause. “I couldn’t even do the old one.” Lance forced a chuckle, unable to make eye contact with Keith.

Lance felt a hesitant hand grazing his arm and he turned his head to look directly at Keith, mildly surprised that Keith, unlike the young kid who joined the Garrison all those years before, did not back down or show any glimpse of uncertainty in those eyes.

“Lance,” Keith stated his name clearly and confidently, “we don’t need another paladin. Because we have you. What would we do up there in space without our sharpshooter?” A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “We need you Lance, more than you know.”

Lance just shrugged, eyes darting away from Keith before returning. For a rare moment, lose for words.

“Well,” Keith began, “for starters, there would be no one cracking jokes just when we need them. Nobody to protect our backs when we’re facing enemies. No one with your bond with Red so we can form Voltron. And you’re much better at giving pep talks than I am but, hey, I’m trying.”

Lance parted his lips, trying to string any kind of sentence together but failing. Keith smiled slightly, seemingly aware of this as he knocked his shoulder into Lance’s, returning his gaze to the horizon. “How has your family been?”

Much safer waters. “Aw man, it’s been great to see them. Sylvio and Nadia have gotten so tall! I’m-I’m really gonna miss it here.”

“That’s why we gotta end this war.” Keith’s words were steeled in determination. “And we’re gonna do it with the Lance that’s the Paladin of the Red Lion. The Lance that’s always got my back. And the Lance who knows exactly who he is and what he’s got to offer.” Lance could see the smile on his lips as Keith turned, once again, to face Lance, smile widening, ever so slightly.

As Lance replicated Keith’s grin, he realised with a small jolt of surprise how close the two had moved together throughout their conversation. Yet he didn’t make a move to put distance between them. Instead he stared at Keith, watching the hues of the sunset wash over his face.

“Thanks, man.”

~~~

Lance smiled. A smile so genuine it felt like it would be permanently etched into his face. An eternal remnant of this moment; a memory he knew he would keep with him for the rest of his life.

And so, he let himself lean back in his chair with a full stomach, fully embracing the moment, letting himself indulge for once. He quietly ran his eyes over his family sitting with him. From mamá helping fill abuelita’s plate with some more food to Rachel complaining to Marco that she still hasn’t ‘graduated’ to the adult table and finally to Luis and his wife talking quietly in the corner, their chairs pulled up right next to each other.

Lance was content. Yet, try as he might, he couldn’t ignore the ache in his heart. Because-because this might be the last time his whole family are together like this. The smell of mamá’s cooking filling the air. Everyone crowded into the dining room. 

Lance wouldn’t get to do this again with his family for likely a long time. Maybe not ever.

A sharp elbow in his ribs promptly pulled Lance from his morbid thoughts.

“Ow!” He exclaimed turning a glare on Veronica sitting next to him. “What was that for?”

She shrugged a smirk on her lips, “You know, I’m surprised you didn’t bring anyone to dinner with you like, oh, I don’t know, a certain Altean princess.”

Lance dragged his gaze down to the table, hand swirling what was left of his drink around in the glass. “Oh. No, no. Nothing-nothing ever happened. Between us. And I don’t think anything ever will.”

“Hm, alright.” Veronica accepted his answer, not pushing him further. “Anyway speaking of dates, maybe you can put in a good word for me with that long-haired friend of yours, hmm?” 

Lance’s eyes snapped back to hers, confusion colouring his features. “What, Keith?! No, no, no!” Lance barked a laugh, hands flailing as he put his glass back down before his spilt what was left. “No way. No.” He repeated his final statement without a hint of uncertainty.

Veronica laughed at him, leaning back in her seat, “I was just kidding.”

“Oh, right, of course.”

“Besides, we have plenty of time on the road for worrying about that kinda thing. Well, not the road. The space road? The metaphorical space road?”

A faint smile tugged at Lance’s mouth watching Veronica fumbling with her words but a much more pressing worry forced its way forward.

“Are you sure there isn’t anyway I could convince you not to come.”

Veronica turned to him, forgetting about her latest philosophical debate about space roads as she stated, “Nope. I know you’re worried but you don’t have to be, I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can, and I’m not doubting that, just-just you don’t know what it’s like. Up there.”

“That’s.. true. But it’ll be different this time than when it was just you guys. We’ll have a whole team backing us making sure we all make it home safe.”

Lance shot one more look to her full of worry and, before he could say any more, Veronica grabbed her glass and stood up, turning everyone’s attention to her.

“A toast.” Everyone quickly grabbed their own drinks. “To family. Though we may be apart after tomorrow, we’ll always remain close at heart. Family is forever.”

“To family.” Everyone around the table repeated the words and Lance felt them, as if they were physical objects, lodge themselves deep in his heart. Something for him to carry with him always; no matter how many light years away he was from home.

~~~

Lance couldn’t breathe. No, literally, he couldn’t breathe.

“Mamá,” he choked out, ”you need to let go a little.”

“Oh, yes, sorry,” she stepped back slightly, releasing him from her death grip of a hug. But a hug he loved nonetheless.

Her hand remained resting on his shoulder as he turned and hugged the rest of his family. He could see Veronica out the corner of his eye repeating the same process.

They were all gathered together, surrounded by other groups of friends and families wishing others farewell and good luck.

“I’m going to miss you guys. So much.” Lance blinked, refusing to let his tears fall. He felt Veronica throw her arm around his shoulder.

“I’ll be there,” she reassured, “besides I’m not sure the Galra could handle more than two McClains.”

Laughter followed, weak, watery laughter but laughter all the same. His heart tugged towards his family; trying to ground him to Earth. A small, desperate thought pushed its way through Lance’s brain, a want, a need to increase his centre of gravity so he physically couldn’t leave Earth.

Yet, Lance knew in his brain he had to leave so there would be an Earth to return to. He couldn’t ignore the energy in his bones, needing some kind of release and adventure. He’s never been able to ignore it. The same push that made him apply to the Garrison, that same one that encouraged him to follow Pidge that one night and the same push that never let him give up the fight, never let him give up.

Final goodbyes were made as everyone began boarding the Atlas.

“Take care of Kaltenecker!” Lance shouted over the crowds, waving one last time to his family.

They gathered in the control room, the paladins and Atlas crew. Ready for take off.

In three.

Two.

One.

“Here we go.”

**Author's Note:**

> I will be picking and choosing and sometimes editing certain dialogue from the show to where I think it fits and where it most suits the story I want to tell.
> 
> Also I have used some Spanish which I quickly googled so if I’ve made a mistake please tell me!
> 
> [Also follow my tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bookdragonbeth)


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